結束了西岸為期16天的旅途  第一次的自助旅行  感謝Jason的配合
寒假結束了……是該回學校唸書並準備春假的行程～～Chicago 芝加哥   期待那個即將到來的一個人七天的自助旅途  親征芝加哥 
那個美國現代主義的醞源地…

Mar. 9th Wednesday, Dead-Line   2005

話說昨天一下午的不安後…..（詳日記WillItHappen!!）

The Dead-Line

今天對我或許是有一個非正式的交關期限  那便是Patricia會回我信嗎？？  記得Chan說 今天她若是真的不回  那就放棄吧繼續往前走  她不是那朵值得讓我採的花  姑且信之吧   因為這裡是美國他要我放棄那套台灣與亞洲人的思考模式  Because it doesn’t work with these Whites!!  想想我覺得也對  幹嘛拿熱臉去貼人家的冷屁股  亞洲人在這已經是弱勢了  台灣人更是弱勢  雖然很哈但是絕不能丟台灣人的臉  不能讓我僅有的尊嚴也被踐踏了….時間飛快～～今天的E-mail顯得特別寂靜……..

Chan: “Ming…my man, did she mail you back??” 

Ming: “NOPE..!! I don know why she didn’t mail me back, but it doesn’t make sense to me…….why she gave me her E-mail if she doesn’t like me??? We just first met!!”

Chan: “Come on….man….you got drunk as shit before…Don't you think sometimes women get drunk??  Wake up the next day in their bathtub and say what happened? Some drunk girls wake up sleeping with a guy they do not even know. That's why I say “do not get too drunk!!!!”  Then you will never remember who you talk to, who you really liked, or even remember if they really liked you or they just wanted to talk to you or just wanted to have sex with you or whatever….. Wake up man…!!!  it is not a big deal…..there are plenty girls out there…..relax...alright?!  I will meet you up in Bravo tonight…ok?? ”

Ming: “ Maybe she get too drunk and forget who I am…”

Chan: ” that’s possible….”
 
Ming: “ I will see you at bravo then….”

Chan: ”good!!…….relax…man!!  You got a good personality and we all know that….trust me and they will know that someday”

其實心裡有點難過  一點點啦  真的只是一點點啦……今天跟Kierston說了她沒回信給我  K也是說沒回信就沒回信阿  有啥大不了的  好吧！！我還是相信老媽子的話”去愛一個愛你的人總比去愛一個你愛的要死的人好一些”  今天接了幾通電話 其中有一通是會計師打來的  他打電話來跟我說他收到我記給他的文件包裹了 計算完後會跟我說大概會退多少稅跟需要多少費用  這大概是我做事最有效率的一次吧  從打電話問Judy到把東西都交給會計師只花了四天時間  對我來說已經夠快了～～


About Judy

Judy是一位旅行社的台灣人 她在美國住20年了  上次回台灣的機票就是請她幫我定的 會認識她也很意外 記得2004年暑假 本來是沒打算回台灣的 因為在沒找到工作前以O.P.T.的身份出入境美國如果運氣不好會有些麻煩 沒想到畢業前參加了學校辦的一個就業博覽會(career fair) 就莫名其妙找到工作了  這說起來又是一個很好笑的故事…..記得Career Fair 當天我根本不知道有這活動 到學校後看到同學都忙著在弄履歷表 問了其他一些台灣人才知道今天有這麼一個活動 還好我是用筆記型電腦  於是打開我的電腦把我作品集最後一頁的履歷表就這樣硬生生給他印出來連改都沒改 就這樣順便帶了一本櫃子裡的作品集（大學五年的作品） 到了會場  就當是逛街吧～～因為原本我想班去L.A.的 原本沒想繼續留在東岸的 那天丟了七份履歷表 其中三家是大公司 一家是Genseler  據說員工超過兩千人  聽說的……@@  這公司在很地方都有分公司包括L.A.跟SanFrancisco 跟DC和 New York http://www.gensler.com/index.html  另一家是S.O.M. 據說員工也是上千人 http://www.som.com/opener.cfm 也是很多地方都有分公司  最後一家是WDG 這家是我現在工作的公司 員工160人 總部在DC http://www.wdgarch.com/  分部在德州達拉斯  另外四家都是一些40人左右的小公司 忘了是哪幾家了…話說三個禮拜後  收到兩份通知 一份來自WDG, DC 一份來自SOM, Chicago  一開始便拒絕芝加哥的面試  因為太遠又太冷了 至於DC的面試就當他是去見見世面吧 ！！就這樣目前在DC住下來了  當工作卻定時便決定回台灣看看爸媽 但是當時是旅遊旺季的六月 機位是一票難求 就在朋友輾轉的介紹下 認識了Judy  她很熱心幫我找到了不算貴的機位  900多塊 就這樣在Judy的幫忙下 回到了離開一年多的台灣


Get your ass down to Bravo, we have a lesson today

下班前Chan傳了簡訓給我  說他快到公司附近了 要我到Bravo等他  最後一次打開了E-mail…..終於決定將電腦關掉了…….在路上遇見了Tom  他剛好也要去Bravo  便隨口問了他一個問題….

Ming: “ Tom, did you ever meet any girl in a bar and you still keep in touch with them right now??”

Tom: “ Yes, I do, but not much….Just twice!! Usually, I know girls from friends’ friends. Not much in a bar. Are you thinking that girl you met in DragonFly??”

Ming: “ Yes, I mailed her yesterday, but she didn’t reply……”

Tom: “OH…Ming…don’t think too much…..at least you have that ball to talk to such a hot chick….that’s good enough…”

今天來的人不多 只有 Chan,  Tu,  Tom,  Kierston  跟我  一共五個人…..大家稍微聊了些上週五發生的趣事  其中有個Carlos的故事  那天當Caslos 跟她老婆還有Patricia聊天時 他竟然跟Patricia說我有一半是墨西哥血統..  他竟然說我是墨西哥混台灣人的血統……..@@害我笑得半死…. Chan更是說了一個笑話….

Chan:” Ming, you know what…last Friday when you were standing beside that girl and not saying anything. I was just wana kill you at that time. You such a dumbass what were you thinking you were doing out there?? You have to TALK TO HER!! to KNOW HER…. I were coming up with an idea and I went to her and say “you really have a fucking hot ass” in Spanish . I supposed that she will go to you and complain your friend to you, and then you have something to talk to her.  But her response was just out of my imagination because she was smiling at me and say “Thank you….” I really don’t know what to do dude…..”

這招大概可以媲美我們所說的”英雄救美”吧  也可以算是”好警察壞警察”吧  Chan希望我能扮演那個英雄  或是那個好警察 只是……………….他失算了……..＠＠

就這樣說說笑笑到了八點多  他們說還要續攤  心想 “不會吧！！才禮拜三ㄝ 饒了我吧！！” 只是突然傳來一陣聲音……

Chan: “Ming, you are coming with us!! You have a lesson to learn today”

Ming: “What….can we do that on Friday??  It just Wednesday today……”

Chan: “NO!!” Shut up!! You are coming with us”

Ming: “but….…………………..@@”

Chan: “What did I say??? You shut the fuck up. You are coming with us.”


Lesson 1 : Being a Funny Asshole!!

就這樣我們來到另一間我沒去過的酒吧”Lounge 201” http://www.lounge201.com/  這地方位於DC的東北區  好吧順便介紹一下DC (Washington, District of Columbia) 中文叫”華盛頓哥倫比亞特區”  顧名思義它不屬於任何一州  中文簡稱”華府” 它位於Potomac River東北岸 維吉尼亞州（VA）跟馬里蘭州（MD）的交界處  基本上DC是一個菱形狀 以國會大樓為中心 劃分為四區  分別為 NW NE SW SE 亦即所謂的 西北區 東北區 西南區 東南區  絕大部分政府機關或是各國使節館都位於西北區NW  基本上國會大樓以東都是黑人  國會大樓以西依各區域而不一定  道路系統亦以國會大樓為中心向東西兩面編列  所以DC有兩條1st 2nd 3rd 4th……street  很詭異…..我來的第二個月才知道 有兩條14街  害我上次去 Kierston家Party時迷路了…….@@  她住東北區 而我在西北區迷路了………（詳日記WarmingParty）

回歸原題……怎樣做一個”有趣的混蛋”呢？？？

Chan: “ Ming, how many times I told you not being so good to every girl?? How many times??  I told you tons of times why you just don’t listen to me??  You bought 3 drinks for 3 different girls last Friday…..Did they give you a shit after they got their free drink??? “

Ming: “No……….@@”

Chan: “ That’s right!! Don’t let these motherfuckers take advantage of you. You have to tell which one you like and she might like you like first…..AND talk to her, know her more…..and then buy her drinks….."

Ming: “ I Know, but how????”

Chan: “ What did I say….Dumbass!!!  TALK TO THEM TO KNOW THEM MORE!!!  Sometimes you have to say some dirty and funny jokes. If they really want to know you they will stay….if they just want to take advantage of you to get their free drink they will walk away. You have nothing to lose aren’t you??”

Ming: “ No……I have nothing to lose…….."

Chan: “ Ok….let’s do this… from now on, if girls ever try to make fun of you or play with you cheek, You tell them “Yes, I am cute and I am a shorty, BUT I have a 10-inch long and 2-inch wide DICK….”

Ming: “What?!?! 10-inch long…??!?But I don’t have 10-inch long…….”

Chan: “ Jeez man…..can’t you tell that is a joke?? damn…….why are you so stupid…”

Ming: “ Alright….that is a joke….”

Chan: “ Ok…whatever ….you can say you have a 10-inch wide and 2-inch long whatever you wana say…………”   
Chan keeps talking still…..

Ming: “ 10-inch wide and 2-inch long???? That sounds much like a super size pancake…..”

Kierston: “ HaHaHaHa……..”   
Chan 這時問K我剛說了什麼

K: “ He just said a 10-inch wide and 2-inch long DICK looks like a SUPER SIZE PANCAKE “

Chan: “ Ming, you are the man….good job man……now you know what I mean….. learn some dirty jokes and these whites will buy that….trust me….do you want me to show you a website which has tons of dirty jokes????

Ming: “ No…I am cool….I can figure that out….”



回家都半夜了   明天肯定又會創遲到的最新紀錄…….@@ 

PS: 今天跟兩個女生聊天  聊到了世界最高的建築物  那當然是那醜不拉雞的台北國際101  當然這兩位也有同感   我還開玩笑的說 “妳們去過中國餐館沒？？有外帶過食物嗎？？妳可以收集那樣的方形餐盒9個  然後把他們疊在一起  妳家裡就會有一棟台北國際101大樓了”  雖然不是很好笑的笑話  但是大家至少有笑…….只是…….

她們的朋友小聲的跟我說那兩個辣妹是T…………  我還真是他媽的幸運阿………..@@