Jun 25th  Saturday 
Eric’s  BachelorParty

昨天周五在Washington Garden 的酒吧時  Chan, Matt, Ming 三個人窩在吧檯的一旁點酒 聊天  旁邊來了一位陌生女子加入了我們的談話內容  這位是來自San Diego, California 的Chile的外籍人士  今早剛到達DC為的是代表她們公司來這邊開會  聊著聊著  似乎Ming就這樣被盯上了  漸漸的這女子問了一些Ming的私人問題  聊著聊著突然之間Ming發現旁邊似乎少了兩個人  Chan 跟Matt 就在不知不覺中消失了….@@  於似乎Ming一個人的獨角戲越撐越辛苦  在一陣冷場之際 Ming回到了那個屬於自己人的圈圈裡   才剛回到原來的地方時  Chan 馬上蹦出一句話……

Chan:” Ming……what the fucking you doing here??? ”

Ming:” I am doing what you taught me….you said if I feel the conversation is going down, I have to be cool and just walk away…….and if they like me they will come to me, isn’t it??”

Chan:” Yes, I told you that before, but this time is special occasion. Go back there and talk to her now……..”

Ming:” Why is this time special???.......”

Chan:” Gesus….man   What did I say?? You just go back there right now…..Why you always don’t listen to me???....Why?? ”

其實Ming也不知道Chan為啥突然語氣有這麼大的轉變  一旁的Matt 拍拍Chan 的肩膀  把Ming拉到了旁邊……

Matt:”　Ming, I have to say you gotta listen to Chan this time…… You might get a surprise tonight…..Now, just go back there and talk to her…….”

就這樣 Ming又硬著頭皮 回到這位智利的拉丁女子的座位旁  還好 Ming去過聖地牙哥  在加州待過了兩個多禮拜  這些旅遊經驗大概又可以跟她扯個一個小時…..  就在不久之後  這女生拉著Ming 的手挽  靠在Ming的身旁………

XX: “Sweetie, I am so hungry now, could you get me a place where we can have dinner in town, and show me around in DC…..?”

Ming:” You want me to be your tour guide tonight??”

XX: “Yes, would you??”

Ming:” Let me ask my friends where have restaurants still opening……it is kinda late now……”

就這樣又回到了原來的地方  問了問Chan…….

Ming: hey….man.  She wants me to take her to dinner where she can get some sushi …..any idea where can we go???”

Chan:”DraganFly…. You know they have sushi in DragonFly…..”

Ming :” It is 11p.m ….Do you think they still have food??”

Chan:” Yes, they have food before 12….Grab a cab and take her there ….. I will call you tomorrow, if you were not on her bed when I call you I am going to kill you…you hear that???”

Ming: ” WHAT!??!”

Chan:” Shut the fuck up!! You heard what I said…..just go....“

Ming:” ok ok….dont rush me…..alright……”

Ming走向放背包的地方拿背包的同時 身後又傳來一陣咆叫聲…………….

Chan: “ Ming~~~ Where the fuck are you going??? She is there ……you are going the wrong side……Gesus …You are killing me…..  Are you drunk??? She i~s be~~hind You…..the opposite way, dude……”

Ming:” I know I know……..I have to get my bag……..can I ??”

就這樣Ming跟這位智利女郎 坐著計程車來到了 DragonFly  個自點了一些sushi跟啤酒   Ming 也沒太注意她點了些什麼  只是大概跟她說了哪些是Ming還覺得不錯吃的  聊了一下天候  當服務生送來餐點時  Ming 的眼鏡差點從鼻樑上滑下來   妳是一整天沒吃還是餓鬼投胎怎樣的??  一個比Ming的屁股還大的盤子竟然sushi已經排到了第三層……@@  通常一般頂多裝飾性的排到第二層  這次看得Ming都傻眼了 
妳這~~~麼能吃阿???  用完餐後  Ming理所當然的問了問她…………..

Ming:” Alright then…..where else you wanna go ?? You wanna go home or wanna go some other pubs???”
(錯誤一  Never give girls the second choice….)

對方沉默了些許秒鐘…………………

XX:” I wanna go dancing….. Do you know where we can go ???”

Ming:” Sure….this is my place, there is a cool latino clubs couple blocks away, if you wanna go I can take you there…..”
(錯誤二  Never take girls to a place where they feel like being in her world )

於是Ming便帶這位女子到了  Café Citron (http://cafecitrondc.com/cl_aboutus_n.aspx?index=-1)  在這熱情的拉丁音樂與成群的拉丁人下  Ming 突然覺得今天犯了一個天大的錯誤   在這Ming反而成為了弱勢中的弱勢  繚繞在耳邊的拉丁文從頭到尾只聽懂一個字 ...
“ Ciao ” 說穿了 就是英文的  “Hi ” or “Hello” 說實在話  有聽懂跟沒聽懂都一樣 ………..@@  Ming所幸的上了廁所 洗了把臉   哪知道才幾分鐘的一轉眼  這位智利女子已經跟一群熱情的拉丁人跳起那煽情的拉丁舞來了   這時心中感覺自己十足的像個白痴 …..  因為已經完全被這女孩給忽略了  Ming的身影也漸漸的離開了人群   慢慢的移向吧檯   喝著手上在這Pub的第一罐啤酒意即是今晚的最後一罐啤酒……Ming在遠處看著這女孩在舞池裡舞動著身軀  看了看時間2:13 am   Ming鼓起了勇氣  走向擁擠的舞池裡來到這位女孩的身邊 …….

Ming :” Hey…. I am out, kinda tired.  Do you want me to cab you home??”

XX:” Are you leaving?? Come on ……it just starts……”

Ming:” I am sorry ….I am really tired….I have to go before passing out…..Are you coming with me??”

XX:” I really like this place….. I would like to stay a little bit longer…..Thanks for the dinner…….sweetie……”

於是 Ming 隻身步出了Café Citron 在路口隨手招了台計程車  一個人回家了…………


Are you fucking blind???

今天大家看到Ming時 都問著同樣的問題……………..

“Ming, How was last night, dude???” 

當Ming訴說故事後 大家依舊是緊接著同樣一句話……

”What the fuck?!?  Are you blind?? DIDN’T YOU SEE SHE WAS HORNY AS SHIT??  EVERYBODY SAW THAT WHY DON’T YOU PAY ATTENTION ??  WHY YOU TAKE A LATINO TO A LATINO CLUB??...WHY YOU DID THAT???...”

就這樣 Ming 今天十足了成了大家的笑柄  竟然會把送上嘴邊的肥羊 又送給了別人….@@  笑吧各位….. 凡事都有第一次  儘管那晚的學費還不便宜......
至少學到了兩個原則 

"Rule #1 : Never give girls the second choice…."  
 
"Rule#2 : Never take girls to a place where they feel like being in her world"

今天最生氣的莫過於 Chan…… 看得出來他極度的很想狠狠的奏Ming一大拳  今晚每當跟Chan 的眼神交會時  他只有一個動作  搖頭嘆氣…..  大概是在跟Ming訴說著……..

“Ming Ming Ming……my lord …… You really have a lots shit to learn ……and that will be a long long way to go, my dude………”

The brand-new white underwear

今天Ming終於知道那全新的白色內衣的功用是啥了   原來是為了要讓今夜的舞孃 為Eric 寫下祝福的話語 留下芳名與唇印  這大概是跟上次Rick 的 Bachelor Party 不一樣的地方  其他大概都大同小異吧  反正就是一堆全身都脫光光的舞孃  在舞台上晃來晃去  不時的走到觀眾身邊來要小費…….. 這時才想起前幾天在電視看到的脫口秀裡的一個笑話…..

“STRIPER MYTH”……..”Never Show mercy to all the stripers …. They all have exactly the same story and never believe that shit, which is I AM STRIPPING FOR COLLEGE……I CANT AFFORD THE TUITION …. ”

STOP THAT BULLSHIT......THEY ALL MAKE MORE MONEY THAN YOU DO !!!










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