『老爸的英文情書』

老爸一直以追到有校花之稱的老媽而自豪，但每次講到擄獲老媽芳心的致命關鍵的一封英文情書，老媽都笑的前俯後仰，經過我們一再催逼，老媽終於拿出老爸當年寫給她的情書，看了真的是OH！MY GOD！很有一套喔！  

Dear wang litte sister:親愛的王小姐

From see you one eye, I shit love you. 自從看到你的第一眼,我便愛上你。

Your eyes close, I die; your eyes open, I come back to live.

Your eyes close and open again and again,I die again and again.

妳的眼睛閉上，我就死了，你的眼睛打開，我又活過來，妳的眼睛貶啊貶,我就死去活來?

Maybe you do not remember me, no matter.

When you carefully look at me, you will one see clock.

也許你不記得我,沒有關係,當你仔細看著我，你就會一見鍾情

I think l should introduce myself to you.

我想應該介紹一下自己。

I call Li big great. Toyear 25

我叫李大偉,今年25(今天是today,那麼今年就是toyear.至於偉就翻成great吧！)

My home have four mouth people-papa, mama, I and DD.

我家有四口人..爸爸、媽媽、我和弟弟。

I am a good man, in a big company work.

我是一個好男人，在一家大公司上班。

I do early fuck every day, so that I can have strong body to protect you.

我每天都做早操，這樣我會有強壯的身體來保護你。

Please come to eat and sleep with me, or I will cut my hair to be a monk,

and find a place where many monks live in to over my life;

請嫁給我吧,否則我將削髮為僧,找個廟來了此一生。

(實在想不起「嫁」字怎麼翻譯，好在頭腦靈光,嫁過來不就是和我吃住在一起。至於

「廟」字,也不會翻譯，不過很多和尚住在一起的地方，就是廟。)

Like Your people

喜歡妳的人

……原來做早操的英文是make early fuck……